Let’s Talk: Awakening Female Sexuality in Nigeria
Let’s talk about something powerful: Awakening female sexuality in Nigeria.
To be honest, many of us grew up never hearing the words “pleasure,” “desire,” or “orgasm” in any meaningful, empowering way. Instead, we were told to be “good girls,” to endure, and to place a man’s needs above our own.
Over the years, I’ve worked with women across Nigeria—from newlyweds to mothers of four—who are finally saying enough is enough. They want to reconnect with their bodies, understand their desires, and enjoy the kind of intimacy that’s pleasurable and fulfilling—not just for their partner, but for themselves.
What Awakening Really Means
Awakening is not about becoming wild or vulgar. It’s about reclaiming something that was always yours—your right to feel, explore, and enjoy.
Here’s what that looks like in real life:
Understanding what turns YOU on
Not what your partner wants, not what movies show—what you truly enjoy.Saying YES to pleasure without guilt
Letting go of shame around enjoying sex, fantasizing, or exploring new sensations.Exploring fantasies safely
Whether it’s a new position, a new setting, or simply being touched more mindfully, your fantasies are a pathway to intimacy.
Why Female Sexuality Has Been Silenced
To awaken, we need to name what’s been suppressed.
Women in Nigeria have been told:
“Sex is for your husband, not you.”
“Good girls don’t talk about those things.”
“You’ll look loose or cheap if you enjoy sex.”
These messages aren’t just harmful—they are false. And unlearning them is part of your healing journey.
How to Start Awakening Your Sexuality
This is not a one-time flip of a switch. It’s a journey—a beautiful, gradual reconnection with your body and your truth.
Here are some gentle starting points:
1. Journaling Desires
Begin by writing down what excites or intrigues you—what kind of touch you enjoy, what you fantasize about, or even what you wish you could experience.
2. Solo Play Exploration
Yes, I’m talking about masturbation. Exploring your own body teaches you where your pleasure zones are—so you can better communicate them to a partner.
3. Educate Yourself
Read blogs like this, take courses, and follow therapists who support your growth.
The Psychology Behind Pleasure & Self-Awareness
As a psychologist, I often remind women that the brain is our primary sex organ. When you carry guilt, fear, or trauma, your body often can’t relax enough to experience real pleasure.
Healing begins when we:
Create emotional safety
Release internalized shame
Practice self-compassion and curiosity
That’s why awakening female sexuality in Nigeria must include emotional support and self-awareness—not just sexual techniques.
Practical Exercises to Explore Your Desires
To bring this into your daily life, try these:
| Exercise | Purpose |
|---|---|
| Mirror work (look at yourself naked) | Increases self-acceptance |
| Sensual breathing (inhale, exhale slowly) | Grounds you in your body |
| Read erotic literature or poetry | Stimulates fantasy and imagination |
| Kegels & pelvic floor exercises | Builds physical pleasure potential |
| Say affirmations like “I deserve pleasure” | Rewires shame-based beliefs |
Safe Communities That Support Your Journey
You don’t have to walk this journey alone.
BB Tribe – Baddie in Bed Tribe
A safe, supportive space where Nigerian women learn, share, and grow in their pleasure journeys.
Better Lover for Women Course
An expert-led course that helps you gain tools, techniques, and confidence in your sexual life. Tailored to the Nigerian experience.
🔗 Join the BB Tribe Community
🔗 Explore the Better Lover for Women Course
Real-Life Story From a Client
Tolu, a 39-year-old mother of three, once shared this with me:
“I always thought sex was just for men. I never even imagined that I could ask for what I wanted—until I joined your course. Now, I look forward to intimacy because it’s something we share, not something I endure.”
These stories remind me why I do this work. Awakening is possible—and it’s happening right here, in Nigeria.
Recommended Resources
To expand your knowledge, here are excellent external and internal resources:
FAQs – Awakening Female Sexuality in Nigeria
1. Is it wrong to want more from sex?
Absolutely not. Wanting pleasure is natural and healthy.
2. Can I awaken my sexuality if I’ve had trauma?
Yes, but it helps to work with a trauma-informed therapist or coach.
3. What if my partner doesn’t understand my awakening?
Share resources, communicate gently, and involve him in your journey if he’s open.
4. Is solo play necessary for awakening?
It’s not mandatory, but it’s a powerful way to understand your own body.
5. How long does it take to feel a shift?
Every woman is different. Some feel change in weeks, others in months. It’s a personal process.
Final Thoughts from Mrs. Olawunmi Esan
Dear woman reading this—your body is not shameful. Your desire is not dirty. And your pleasure is not a luxury.
Awakening female sexuality in Nigeria is not rebellion—it’s restoration. It’s returning to your truth, your joy, and your power.
Whether you’re just beginning or halfway there, remember that you are not alone. I’m here, and so are thousands of other women on this beautiful path.
If you’re ready to take the next step, I invite you to:
Let’s grow in confidence, pleasure, and love—together.
With warmth,
Mrs. Olawunmi Esan
Psychologist & Certified Sex Therapist